A seasonal abstract

On the anomalous combustion of oleic and linoleic acid mixtures

J. Maccabeus et al., Hebrew University, Jerusalem, Judea

Olive-derived oils, composed primarily of oleic and linoleic fatty acids, have long been used as fuels, with well characterized combustion rates.  We report an observation of anomalously slow combustion of such a mixture, with a burn rate suppressed relative to the standard expectations by more than a factor of eight.  Candidate explanations for these unexpectedly slow exothermic reaction kinetics are considered, including the possibility of supernatural agencies intervening to alter the local passage of time in the vicinity of the combustion vessel.

(Happy Hanukkah, everyone.)
(Come on, admit it, this is at least as credible as either this or this.)